WELCOME TO PORT 80 LIFE

Tech enthusiasts with a sense of humor

I draw stick figures crying over git merge conflicts and print them on heavy cotton tees. Irreverent vector merch designed for programmers, sysadmins, and caffeinated tech folks who laugh to cope.

Shop Merch

Scroll for vector tees and tech depression tees.

BEST SELLERS

Tees that trigger senior developers on sight

Git Port80Life

Main Branch

Minimal monochrome visuals, bold typography, and soft gradients for a simple yet elegant brand of humor.

Process

Do Not Touch Tee

I gain inspiration from the tech I've interacted with, from Python and Java to Gophish and port 3333.

Minimalist studio portrait of a black t-shirt displayed flat against a dark slate background with sharp overhead lighting in North American / US.
Minimalist studio portrait of a black t-shirt displayed flat against a dark slate background with sharp overhead lighting in North American / US.
A close-up studio shot showing the cotton hem and clean stitching of a black garment on a dark slate background in North American / US.
A close-up studio shot showing the cotton hem and clean stitching of a black garment on a dark slate background in North American / US.
An artist drawing minimalist vector lines on a digital drawing screen in a dark North American / US studio.
An artist drawing minimalist vector lines on a digital drawing screen in a dark North American / US studio.

How a tech joke becomes a t-shirt

From a painful bug on production to a finished vector shirt in your hands — here is how every drop happens.

STEP 1

Suffer tech bug or reminisce about the obscene

A real tech disaster happens: broken pipelines or merge conflicts. I jot down the absurd humor right away.

STEP 2

Vector stick draft

I draw minimalist stick figures and pair them with punchy monochrome typography in my vector app.

STEP 3

Screen printing

High-density white ink screen-printed on dark gray or black premium cotton blanks for crisp contrast.

STEP 4

Wear & wash test

Every sample goes through heavy washing to verify the shirt stays soft and the vector graphic stays razor sharp.

STEP 5

Drop and delivery

Limited apparel drops arrive at your door packed in dark poly-mailers with custom sticker extras.

Explore Store
A tablet screen showing vector stick figure sketches beside cotton shirt samples on a dark studio table in North American / US.
A tablet screen showing vector stick figure sketches beside cotton shirt samples on a dark studio table in North American / US.

SERVICES

What I create

I offer apparel design and vector artwork available on Redbubble

A stack of folded dark grey t-shirts next to printed stickers on a dark wooden studio table in North American / US.
A stack of folded dark grey t-shirts next to printed stickers on a dark wooden studio table in North American / US.

FAQS

Tech tee FAQs

What platform do you use?

Redbubble for now. Developing a blueprint for other store launches.

Do you do custom team t-shirt orders?

Not currently, but I will be exploring platforms for this.

How long does shipping take?

Orders ship out within 3–5 business days across North America with tracking provided upon dispatch.

Ask A Question